::urgh.. i can feel the entire weight on my shoulders right now.. i'm trying to keep everything bottled up.. but i dunno how long i can hold it tt way.. so many things and feelings.. i slp so late everyday.. i'm really tired.. i feel lyk letting everything loose.. my burden seems to follow me everywhere.. cant concentrate on anything.. not even church.. i barely slp till 4.. i get up at 7.. some nite i don even slp! man.. how long can i last? i need help.. but i cant tell anyone nothing.. i walk alone in my darkest hour.. i'm at a brink of gog crazy.. i need to relax but i cant! why am i saying all this anyway?! i dunno.. i really dun.. i dunno whats wrong with me.. its just pure feelings nw.. my brain's not working.. urgh..! fyp due next tues.. exams in mid may.. i have yet begun studying.. after that still have to prep for army.. days go past so fast.. i cant do anything.. i'm always feeling that i'm not doing enuff... so little time so much work to be done.. i cant find time to breathe lest a time to destress.. i'm gog into depression.. i cant slp.. i cant eat.. i find life a cycle.. everyday is just another day.. i just cant stop thinking of what i shld do next.. i cant stop and rest.. cos i'll feel guilty.. i dunno why.. i really dun and i'm lost.. why is this happening to me?? i dun think i'll ever know..::

.:Jeremy blogged on 1:15:00 AM:.
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::I'm supposed to the person who never blows his composure.. i take the shit of the world but i aint supposed to show it.. i'm always the scapegoat. its always me when things goes wrong but never me when things goes right.. honestly i'm sick of this shit.. i always put on a smile. cant u understand that its just for show? bit by bit i'm torn apart.. will u only stop and start respecting me when i show you a side of me no one has ever seen? u dislike me.. i'm a burden right? i'm always the useless one.. the one which is there sticking out.. the one which is always easy to pick on.. guess wat.. u're wrong. there's a limit to my tolerance but none when i'm really pissed.. come on.. why is it always me? i'm not the only one that crossed the line.. many others too.. but why i get fired at but all the rest aint given the same treatment? even when its sometimes not my fault? why would i wanna destroy sth i helped built? are u that perfect? are they perfect too? what am i? its time u look in the mirror and reflect.. i hope u have a crackproof one..::

.:Jeremy blogged on 1:21:00 AM:.

::I'm supposed to the person who never blows his composure.. i take the shit of the world but i aint supposed to show it.. i'm always the scapegoat. its always me when things goes wrong but never me when things goes right.. honestly i'm sick of this shit.. i always put on a smile. cant u understand that its just for show? bit by bit i'm torn apart.. will u only stop and start respecting me when i show you a side of me no one has ever seen? u dislike me.. i'm a burden right? i'm always the useless one.. the one which is there sticking out.. the one which is always easy to pick on.. guess wat.. u're wrong. there's a limit to my tolerance but none when i'm really pissed.. come on.. why is it always me? i'm not the only one that crossed the line.. many others too.. but why i get fired at but all the rest aint given the same treatment? even when its sometimes not my fault? are u that perfect? are they perfect too? what am i? its time u look in the mirror and reflect.. i hope u have a crackproof one..::

.:Jeremy blogged on 1:21:00 AM:.
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::One Phrase for Family Camp: MUMMY.. IT'S OVER..::

.:Jeremy blogged on 2:17:00 AM:.
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::Haven been the best of weeks.. Com and laptop crashed.. 80 pages of FYP gone.. Poof! Due on the 5th of april.. Completely devastated! but I will overcome! Done 5 pages.. 115 more to go.. Camp's coming up.. So many things.. Happening so quickly.. I can barely grasp it.. I can barely take time to breathe and reflect.. Man.. I'm shagged out.. Thankfully family camp will be a sanctuary for me.. For me to fellowship and chill out.. unwind.. and most imptly.. learn abt the "will of god". I hope i'm on the right path.. it suddenly struck me.. that i'm falling away from god.. in a way that most Christians fear.. its lyk deceiving ourselves.. Its hard to tell whether what u feel or think is true to ur heart.. gog to church for the wrong reasons.. god looks at the heart not the gift we bring.. nor the worship we give unto him.. cos if we do for the wrong reasons.. it will nv be accepted.. i pray that i'll come back with a heart of true worship and to be pleasing in every aspect of my life.. that i may be a testimony of faith for the lord..::

.:Jeremy blogged on 12:09:00 AM:.
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